Keeping the Human Spirit Alive Through Romanticism

“The Nightmare” by Henry Fuseli

Romanticism. The word might inspire thoughts of roses and candlelight. Long walks in the countryside or lyrical prose. Perhaps it puts you in mind of someone who is out of touch with reality or who caves in to their emotions too readily.

Romanticism was an intellectual movement at the beginning of the nineteenth century that has greatly impacted our literature and media. It is often associated with idealism and “softening” harsh truths, but true romanticism invites us to embrace darkness right along with the light. It is a philosophy that seeks beauty and depth in all experiences and encourages us to embrace life with complete abandon.

Romanticism was birthed at the beginning of the nineteenth century right at the onset of the industrial revolution. Rural life, which had remained more or less the same for centuries, was turned upside down as people moved to cities for jobs in factories. The familiar world of tending the land gave way to standardized time and machines. People who were used to spending large amounts of time outside were now cooped up indoors for long hours completing repetitive tasks. Philosophies such as utilitarianism gained popularity as things -and people-were valued based on their usefulness and efficiency.

Romanticism was a counter culture to this new way of life. It emphasized nature and emotions and doing things for the sake of doing them rather than for a practical purpose.

The romantic poets, who  were the major forerunners of the movement along with painters and musicians, were like rock stars in their time. Most of them died early deaths from their passionate, aimless lifestyle but they were able to capture the intensity of the human spirit in their work and inspire not only the people of their own time but generations of people after their deaths.

There are several components to their philosophy that allowed them to capture this spirit. One of which was the celebration of nature.

Gothic novels from the romantic era, paintings, and romantic poems are littered with rich, elaborate depictions of lakes and trees and birds. The romantics believed that nature was a soothing and therapeutic source but they also celebrated the darker components of nature. Earlier generations often saw nature as a dangerous reality that must be conquered but to the romantics a deadly storm or hungry beast could still be beautiful.

Caspar David Friedrich’s “Wanderer above the Fog” is a perfect example of how the romantics depicted dangerous pieces of nature as beautiful and awe inspiring.

“Wanderer Above the Fog” by Casper David Friedrich

Monster’s, both real and supernatural, were also depicted as fascinating, awe inspiring, and sometimes even sympathetic. Both Dracula from Bram Stoker’s novel Dracula and Frankenstein’s monster from Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein are described in fascinating and tantalizing detail. Frankenstein’s monster (or Frankenstein Jr.) is even described with sympathy. He is not monstrous by nature but a tragic hero who is pushed into murder and terror by an ostrosizing society.  

This idea of romanticizing darkness is often misunderstood by today’s generation. Our minds are so trained to label things as “good” or “bad” that the idea of seeing beauty in something harmful is hard for us to comprehend. It is, however, the very act of embracing things that we fear that gives us the power to overcome them.

This is illustrated when Van Helsing, the man who studies vampires, is the only one with enough knowledge to defeat Dracula. Similarly, depicting Frankenstein’s monster as a tragic hero does not condone his murderous deeds. Rather it serves as a caution for us to consider the pain we inflict when we osterosize and be more aware of what path we may be heading down when we find ourselves ruminating against those who have harmed us.

It is in our nature to be drawn to frightening things. Romanticism acknowledges this. This is not the same as calling them “good” or pretending that these things are safe. On the contrary, the acknowledgement of the allure of darkness allows us to explore ourselves and our world with more depth so that we can understand them more. With understanding comes the tools we need to overcome.

Another way the romantics explore this need for acknowledging the darkness is through their emphasis on emotions. William Woodsworth called poetry an “overflow of powerful feeling.” (Lyrical Ballads) Some such contemplations feature happy, listless feelings but many feature dark emotions or, more frequently, a combination of dark and light emotions that more accurately represent the human experience.

Keats’ “Ode to a Nightingale” is one such poem in which Keats – who lived much of his short life knowing that he was dying of consumption- lauds the beauty of a bird’s song in comparison to his painful and fading life. The beauty of the song reminds him of his plight and serves as a wake up call to reality.

Forlorn! the very word is like a bell
To toll me back from thee to my sole self!

And yet the beauty of the song also reminds him of his own spirit. The piece of him that recognizes the beauty of the song and fills him with longing.

Thou wast not born for death, immortal Bird!
No hungry generations tread thee down

Emotion is not something that is regulated in romanticism. It is not controlled or fought against. It is embraced. Experienced. Chased. It is let loose in passionate declarations of love, perilous journeys through storms, and dark laments of despair. Emotion cannot be harnessed or manufactured by a machine in a factory. Rather it is a wild and beautiful part of the human experience that cannot and should not be tamed.

This belief in intense emotions was one of the ways the romantics manifested their belief in keeping the human spirit alive. Particularly the spirit of the “common man”. They were hearty supporters of the French Revolution because of their admiration of commoners who stood up to the aristocracy. This is depicted most clearly in Robbie Burns’ “A Man for A that”, a poem written in beautiful Scottish vernacular declaring that any man, no matter how poor, is still a man.

Is there for honest Poverty
That hings his head, an’ a’ that;
The coward slave – we pass him by,
We dare be poor for a’ that!

This unapologetic celebration of the common man is in direct opposition to one concept that is often mistakenly associated with romanticism: Idealism. 

We often associate the word “romantic” as being out of touch with reality or imposing unrealistic expectations on a person or situation. In actuality the idea that there is a perfect mean that should be conformed to has more to do with classicism than romanticism.

While the Greeks and Romans sought perfection and symmetry in their art the romantics sought to depict what is. To the romantics imperfections are beautiful because they are a part of the truth and truth, not appearance, is most valued. The reality of what is, not the ideal of what should be, is what they strive to embrace and understand. 

This is most succinctly expressed in Keats’ poem “Ode on a Grecian Urn”. In the ode he admires an ancient Urn from Greece. His admiration, however, is not for its perfect shape and pure white color but for how it cannot be altered by time. This unalterability is reverent to him in a world that is constantly changing. He ends the ode with the line

 “Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.”

The romantic ideal is to embrace reality, to revel in it and see the beauty in it. This is why they write so seductively of darkness and savor even their most brooding thoughts and emotions. Romanticism is not a glorification of darkness nor is it a blind belief in pretty ideals. Romanticism is to chase life with complete abandon, to embrace every moment of it and revel in the irrepressible fire of the human spirit. 

At the onset of the 21st century we find ourselves once again at a crossroads in how we live our lives. The digital age, like the industrial revolution, has greatly altered the ways in which we earn a living and how we interact with each other on a daily basis. Bars and public houses have given way to social media and online forums as sources of gossip, information, and social interaction. Large portions of our days are now filled with spreadsheets, org charts, statistics, averages, templates, and autocorrect. So much that cold, detached words like “longevity” are now used to describe our relationships with friends and family while we are constantly encouraged to look for ways to “optimize” our lives as if it were a computer program.

For all the conveniences and mobility this digital world has given us it can leave us feeling detached or  even deficient for not adhering to the statistics we read or being able to perform with the uniform precision of a computer. We stare at our devices, not living out the promise of possibility and connection, but out of touch with the reality around us. Numb. Strangers to ourselves and to each other and unable to face or acknowledge the inevitable darkness in our lives.

It is time for a new romantic era. Don’t let statistics and averages shape who you are. Chase the things that scare you. Explore your emotions without judgement. Look around you and appreciate, savor, and embrace the things that are. Find the beauty in each moment. Because you -the common man, woman, or anything in between-matter and your spirit deserves to be kept alive.

Thou wast not born for death, immortal Bird!

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Frozen 2 and The Hero’s Journey

Frozen 2 is not based off of a fairytale but it uses an old format steeped in mythology as the structure of Anna and Elsa’s adventures. 

WARNING: MAJOR FROZEN 2 SPOILERS.

In 1949 Joseph Campell described seventeen stages of what he called the monomyth, or the Hero’s Journey in his book “The Hero With a Thousand Faces”. The monomyth is the story of a hero or heroine who leaves home for a quest and returns changed. Campbell based the structure off of his observations and the observations of scholars who came before him of myths across cultures that have been told for centuries and contain motifs that consistently repeat themselves. According to Campbel not all stories use all seventeen stages of the monomyth –in fact few do–but all stories contain at least one.

The Hero’s Journey offers a clear skeletal structure that has been taught in film school and literature classes for years. Hollywood has long used it as a template to manufacture their films and Disney’s Frozen 2 is no exception. In fact, I have seldom seen a more direct and literal manifestation of the monomyth. It encompasses at least eleven of the seventeen stages and contains a song (or two in some cases) to represent seven of them.

The monomyth begins with the “status quo” or ordinary life. This is where we meet the hero or heroes and learn what their life is like, who they are, and what they care about. They have no idea what is about to change their lives and push them into their great journey of discovery and self actualization. One could almost say that they believe that “Some Things Never Change” as Anna so blissfully sings in Frozen 2’s second musical number. Elsa and Kristof join in, clearly chronicling their goals and desires. Anna wants merely to frolic and enjoy life with her friends, Kristof wants to propose to Anna, and Elsa wants things to remain stable as she enjoys each moment. All three characters want to hold on to the hard earned connections with each other that they won in the first film. This theme of connection vs separation is repeated throughout the film.

Next comes the call to adventure (also called the unknown), often accompanied by a refusal to the call. These stages are woven together in Elsa’s flagship ballad “Into the Unknown”, in which a voice quite literally calls her out of her castle into the cold night air for reasons she can’t explain. She resists at first but in the end succumbs to the siren pull of the voice. This surrender enacts dangerous elements that quickly threaten the life she knows and send her and her sister off on a quest to seek answers. Here she has already taken the first step toward transformation and there is no going back.

The stages meeting the mentor and crossing the threshold are not sung about but they can be very easily identified in the moment Anna speaks to the troll king and the moment when Anna, Elsa, Kristof, and Olaf cross into the magic forest. The troll king gives Anna valuable advice that she will need later when things are at their darkest and and once the characters have entered the forest they are literally sealed in until they finish their quest. Both moments are very literal. Olaf even says as they cross into the forest “Forests are a place of transformation.” This cheeky, direct acknowledgement of the film’s format is another motif that is repeated throughout, creating a literal representation of things that are usually more metaphorical and symbolic. 

The stage tests, allies, and enemies, is divided into two songs. In Olaf’s “When I’m Older” the snowman meanders through the dangers of the wood unable to make sense of it all without his friends near him.This is an ironic representation of his naivety as he becomes acquainted with darkness.  He believes that his fear is because of his immaturity but in reality he is barely escaping destruction at every turn. Kristof’s “Lost in the Woods” is another metaphor turned literal turned metaphor again as he laments feeling lost without Anna while he is also, of course, quite literally lost in the woods. In both songs the real enemy seems to be division and separation as the trials only appear when the characters are separated from one another. This separation is in direct opposition to their mutual desires expressed at the beginning of the film to hold on to each other.

The stage known as the dragon’s lair is where the hero faces their biggest danger yet and gains wisdom.This stage is capsulized with Elsa’s song “Show Yourself”, a moment of self-actualization in which she uses her powers to find out the truth and the source of the voice that had been calling her -herself. Here she begins to come to terms with the idea of separation and change as she realizes how powerful she really is. She listens intently to her own voice and gains knowledge. At the end of the song, however, in another metaphor made literal Elsa goes too far and freezes herself to death with the cold, bitter truth.

Next comes the moment of despair. Anna takes this one with her dark, almost depressing, number “The Next Right Thing”. Here she remembers the advice the troll king gave her and rallies herself literally from the floor of a cave, completely alone, and finds the strength to make things right again. Not for herself but for the new friends and allies she has met in the woods. This marks a very real moment of growth for her as she must rely completely on herself for, possibly, the very first time. This growth and independence is the ultimate treasure. Both sisters have now undergone a complete internal transformation. They have traveled all this way to seek the truth of a mysterious voice but what they have really discovered is truths about their own inner strengths.

As Anna uses her new strength to set things right she enters the homeward bound stage of the sisters’ shared journey. She must return to the rest of the world with her new gift -her own independence. It is interesting that the phrase “homeward bound” is used in the only song in the film that does not correlate directly to a stage of the monomyth. “All is Found” is a lullaby sung by Anna and Elsa’s mother at the very beginning of the film and is, in a sense, the riddle the girls are trying to solve. So the story ends where it began. With both girls coming back home to themselves by learning self reliance from the very source that nurtured them in their infancy. 

Finally, there is the resurrection and final transformation stage. When Anna puts things right Elsa is restored to life. She emerges with more power than ever and saves her kingdom from eminent destruction. This is the final threshold. The final ordeal. The transformation is complete and she kicks ass. As the film comes to a close both Anna and Elsa have overcome their fear of separation with independence and self trust and can now work together with their very different strengths. Because even though independence is their treasure interdependence is how they can use it. Elsa needed Anna to bring her back to life just as Anna needed Elsa to stop the raging waters from destroying their kingdom.

Frozen 2 is not the first or only film that uses the monomyth format but the directness with which it uses the archetypical story structure is charming and more than a little bit meta. It’s almost as if Disney is saying to its audience, “Yes, we know you’ve seen this story before but we also know you want to keep seeing it.”

Not every manifestation of the monomyth is good. There are plenty of flat and lackluster versions of the hero’s journey but there is also a reason we keep telling it over and over. We use stories to better understand ourselves so watching a character learn about themselves through an epic journey is already meta. We all want to understand the world and ourselves better so that we can be transformed and kick ass too.  Perhaps that is why the monomyth has been frozen in time.

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The Importance of Darkness in Fairy Tales

I did not intend to write a sequel to Snow Roses. When I finished the book five years ago, I thought Snow and Rose’s story was finished. But stories have a mind of their own. I am only the oracle after all, not the decision maker. Snow and Rose had more to say about their lives, and it became my duty to record it.

I often talk about what I call the “story pull”. The gravity of a story that pulls me toward it, insisting that I discover it and write it. I don’t create, I just follow, allowing the story to speak through me. When Night Briars first started pulling at me to write it it was merely a concept of two lovers after they became lovers. Too often a story ends once a romance begins, but in reality, choosing to live a life together is the beginning of a story, not the end. I wanted to explore the challenges and joys of two people building a life together, and the more the idea pulled at me the more it felt like it belonged to Snow and Rose.

One of the reasons Snow Roses wanted so badly to be told was that it was high past time we had a fairy tale with lesbian princesses. Fairy tales are such an integral part of our culture. So much that we often say things like “It was like a fairy tale” or It was fairy tale perfect” or “This isn’t a fairy tale.” It’s almost as if “fairy tale” meant “perfect”. So why shouldn’t “perfect” include a lesbian love story? Why didn’t we have a lesbian fairy tale?

Still, I sometimes wonder if people who talk like that have ever read a fairy tale. Even our most cleaned up, kid friendly versions of the old stories include multiple counts of child abuse, food poisoning, kidnapping, theft, working without wages, hunger, and numerous other misfortunes. The older darker versions of these tales are worse, containing body mutilation, starvation, beatings, cannibalism, and even rape. So why would we say “It feels like a fairy tale” when we mean “it feels idyllic”?

Phycologist Carl Jung explored the concept of the “collective consciousness”. Universal dreams, so to speak. The same fears and desires that are in all of us manifest in stories and dreams that span across time and across cultures. These are ideologies and symbols that are innate to us as humans. It is no coincidence that there are so many different versions of the same fairy tales and folklore. The youngest son who beats the odds and earns his place as a king. The old woman at the well who gives strange but wise advice. These are stories that manifest ideas and concepts that are universal to us as humans. They resonate so strongly to us that we cannot help but tell them over and over in as many versions as we can imagine.

So when we say “like a fairy tale” we are not saying “perfect” or even “idyllic” so much as “innate to us as humans”. All the more reason to continuously examine the stories we are telling each other and ourselves. What are we, as a society, dreaming of? What do we fear? It is important to be aware of these things and continuously explore ourselves and each other through telling and retelling these stories.

In one of the oldest versions of Sleeping Beauty, The Sun, the Moon, and Talia by Italian writer Giambattista, Talia is raped by a wandering king while she is in a magical sleep. She wakes when giving birth to his son. The king’s wife then tries to kill Talia and her child but they are “rescued” at the last minute by the king who then has his wife executed. There is a reason this is not the version we tell our daughters today. As a society we now recognize that the deeds of the story’s “hero” are wrong. Our values have matured over the centuries and the stories we continue to tell reflect that.

It’s important to acknowledge where the sometimes dark places the stories we tell come from, in addition to constantly asking ourselves where we want them to go next. The dark side of fairy tales is every bit as important as the “happily ever after” because we all have dark spaces inside us. That is a fundamental part of being human. The need to confront and come to terms with that darkness is part of why we are so drawn to fairy tales. We have to sludge through the starvation and kidnapping and getting lost in the woods before we can reach our true potential. Our happily ever after. The darkness is part of the magic. That’s why Snow Roses in not only a lesbian fairy tale retelling, it is also a dark fairy tale retelling, containing many of the darker elements from the older versions.

It seemed very fitting that a story exploring the darker side of a relationship like Night Briars would wind up being a fairy tale. I was so glad that that meant I got to revisit Snow and Rose because I missed Rose’s temper, Snow’s bad cooking, and their mutual commitment to being themselves. Writing this book has been a major journey for me and I am so thrilled that I can finally share it with you. May it join the dreams of our collective consciousness and inspire you to reach your highest potential. Your very own, unique, happily ever after.

Photo by Elizabeth Arenas

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Sacred Ground: The Tombs of Pere Lachaise

The tombs of Pere Lachaise are grandiose. Towering. Severe. Many great men and women are buried here. Some, like the ill fated lovers Heloise and Abelard were originally buried elsewhere but brought here from other burial sites. Others, like rock star and poet Jim Morrison and French writer Collette have simple, modern graves rather than the big stone monuments that fill most of the cemetery. As one meanders through the peaceful green hills, cluttered with tombstones and lost tourists clutching maps as they search for their heroes, one cannot help but wonder what makes a man or woman great. What makes a man or woman worthy of being enshrined with such reverence?

One of the most visited tombs in the cemetery is the resting place of Oscar Wilde. His tomb is encased with glass to protect it from the hundreds of lipstick kisses left by visitors swarming around his burial place by the hour.

Oscar Wilde was a playwright, a novelist, and a poet. He also wrote fairy tales but he was most well known as a high society dandy in the nineteenth century and for his relationship with Lord Alfred Douglas at a time in history when homosexuality was punishable by law. In 1895 he was arrested and tried for “sodomy”. As a result of the arrest he was sent to prison for two years of hard labor. After being released from Prison Wilde was reunited with Douglas for a brief period before he was forced to separate from him under the threat of having his meagre funds withdrawn. Apart from a piece about the brutality of prison and some edits to previous works he stopped writing. He died three years after being released of meningitis complicated by an ear injury he got in prison.

The hotel in Paris Oscar Wilde was living in when he died

Oscar Wilde was a great man. I admire both his literary accomplishments and his bravery in living his life the way he wanted in a culture of suppression. The wit and integrity of emotion in his writing is phenomenal. His works are unfailingly entertaining while maintaining a tongue in cheek satire on society. Some are full of light hearted tomfoolery like the Importance of being Earnest while others, like The Picture of Dorian Gray, explore the darker side of humanity and the desire to create. He had the ability to say things with such succinct clarity that he is hard not to quote. For me, visiting his tomb was truly like standing on sacred ground.

Still, among the great tombs and towering monuments covered in kisses and flowers and letters, there is another kind of grave scattered throughout Pere Lachaise. These tombstones have been knocked over by trees. They have been overrun with moss. The names once engraved with care into stone have eroded and are now indecipherable or gone completely. What forgotten lives rest here? Why were their graves neglected when so many others are celebrated and remembered? Who loved them? Who did they love?

For the religious a graveyard is sacred ground. A place blessed by priests so that the souls laid to rest there can find their way to heaven. Because of his prison sentence Oscar Wilde was only permitted to be buried in such a space because he was buried amongst unbaptized children. I am not religious but I have always found graveyards to be peaceful spaces. Quiet. Mournful perhaps to those who have lost someone but still. Quiet in a way that is almost sacred. A place of rest.

Visiting Oscar Wilde was a sacred experience for me. I love him because of the words he left behind. Because of the brazen way in which he lived his life regardless of what others thought. I love him because I know his story. Because he told it to us with all its vulnerable unflattering bits. I love him because I see pieces of myself in who he was and remembering him makes me feel stronger.

But why do we celebrate some lives and not others after they are gone? Because some lives are worth more than others? Certainly not. But there are a few lives whom we have been privileged to know about. They have left a piece of themselves for us to explore and learn from. A song or a poem or a play. Knowing these lives gives us insight into ourselves,

When we pay homage to another life we are really paying homage to ourselves. To the piece of ourselves we see in that other life. That piece that they have helped us understand more deeply.

It is almost certain that many if not all of the souls lying beneath the tombstones of Pere Lachaise lived vibrant, beautiful lives regardless of whether or not they have scores of tourists stampeding through the hills to visit them. They almost certainly loved as wildly and deeply as Jim Morrison and Oscar Wilde and Collette. The only real difference is that we don’t know their story. We don’t know what pieces of them would teach us to understand ourselves more.

What makes a life great? What makes a death worthy of homage? The greatest gift a soul can leave behind is their story no matter what it entails. The story of another life allows others to know themselves more deeply so that they can find beauty and strength in who they are. So that they can pay homage to themselves.

All lives are worth celebrating. Anywhere you live is sacred ground.

Little slab of stone
Solid like a storm
Do you remember the life you were?
The breath you breathed?
The heart you beat?
Where is the homage to the dance you danced?
The music you sang?
The fingers you touched?
Only in silence is your story enshrined
Only in stillness is your monument held

Little slab of stone
Solid like a storm
Where are the stampeding feet of tourists
Incanting your name?
Did your pulse not quicken with the same fears?
Did your mind not melt with the same love?
Is any life so small that it can erode the name of death?
Is any death so great that it can eclipse what has lived?

Little slab of stone
Solid like a storm
Rest deep
Sleep like a king
Inside the same damp groanings of the earth
Your life is your homage
Your own remembrance is your name

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The Vulnerability and Authenticity of Poetry: A Case Study With Cesar Yuriar

I first encountered Cesar’s poetry at the Lyrical Exchange open mic at Queen Bees in North Park San Diego. Attending an open mic is a bit like taking the pulse of a city. Dozens of vulnerable artists stand up in front of you and lay their souls at your feet. To be mocked. To be loved. To be understood. And –with any luck –to help you feel more understood. To connect. To be real. It’s a direct channel to the city’s heart. Why it beats and why it bleeds.

This is true with any performance art be it music, comedy, dance, or theater. Each is a unique and beautiful expression of the human soul but listening to someone read or recite their poetry in front of a live audience is particularly raw and intimate.

Perhaps because there is not the safety of fiction, humor, or melody for the poet to hide behind. Perhaps because poetry is so unmarketable that any thoughts of fame or fortune must be banished from the poet’s motivation. Regardless of the reason, having someone trust you with the words in their heart –not on paper or screen with time and distance to protect them but right there, in that room, at that moment –is a true honor.

Not all the poetry you hear at an open mic is good mind you. Not in the literary or performance arts sense. It doesn’t always have clear cadence or distinctive metaphors. Still, it’s a piece of a person who is willing to stand up and share and that by itself is beautiful.

Sometimes, however, –often even –the poetry you hear is masterfully crafted poetry in the literary and performance arts sense as well as the raw, vulnerable sense, and that’s when the real magic happens. These are the jewels that stay with you for weeks or even months after they have been performed.

What puts magic in poetry? It’s hard to say. Each poet –each poem really –has it’s own unique rhythm and flavor. Any rule you try to ascribe will quickly be discredited by an example of when it was broken successfully. There are no, and never will be, any rules to art. Art is anarchy. It is authenticity. It is a willingness to give up anything you think you know and experience life as if for the first time every day. It is abandon. It is surrender.

Still, one can abstract what one loves about a particular poem or poet in an attempt to understand what makes it it’s own unique kind of magic.

In spoken word or performed poetry there are two elements: the presentation and the poem itself. The performance is equally as important as the poem if not more. Some spoken word poets don’t even call their pieces poems. They call them scripts or simply pieces. These pieces don’t necessarily contain any of the traditional poetic devices like alliteration or simile (although, of course, they can). They tend to be more direct with a repetitive rhythm and many spoken word poets have a background in rap or hip-hop. Each word is conveyed with emotion and conviction like an actor’s monologue with an emphasis on engaging and entertaining the audience. A good performance can be downright sobering to watch as the poet takes you with them into every crevice of their piece.

I was drawn to Cesar’s poetry because it contained many of the elements from traditional poetry that I love, like lyrical phrasing and obscure metaphors, while still maintaining the directness that lends itself so well to performance. His work deals largely with themes of love and mental health with deep echoes of longing for connection and healing. He wrote his first poem in high school when he entered a deep depression after almost becoming a father. Traces of “what if” and “what could have been” still make appearances in his pieces today.

In Amanda Palmer’s book The Art of Asking she talks about how artists create with pieces of themselves. You are the raw material of your art but the degree to which you blend and puree that raw matter before sending it out into the world is up to you. Cesar says his work his mostly just him with only a moment or two in the blender before it is released. Perhaps that is another element to the charm of his work. His openness in relaying his own struggles in the hope that they might help others face theirs.

After all, isn’t that what artists have been doing for centuries? Giving voice to the things that keep us up at night. Speaking the truths that we don’t dare tell our parents and bosses and sometimes even our friends to remind us that we are not alone. That we are all human. That at the core we are all fighting the same monsters and none of us are instagram perfect.

The best poetry gives us permission to be broken along with the freedom to heal. It finds beauty in the darkness instead of trying to hide it so that we can become strong enough to create our own light. Our own magic.

A beautiful example of this comes from one of Cesar’s poetic heroes, T.S. Elliot. Elliot’s poetry about his life as a bisexual helped Ceasar come to realize and accept that he himself was pansexual. This is a brave thing to own about yourself even today but in Elliot’s time the stigma was far more universal and pockets of acceptance were much harder to find. Writing about his sexuality and then proceeding to publish what he had written was nothing short of heroism and Cesar is not the only person who I’ve spoken with who has found it easier to be themselves because of Elliot’s work. My first girlfriend admired Elliot for the same reason.

In the end it all goes back to the rawness that even the “bad” poetry has at a reading. Without that underlying current of vulnerability and authenticity none of the metaphors or rhythms or even stellar performances have any real meaning. Without the feeling and honesty behind the words they are only sounds. It is the humanity that makes them magic. It is me. It is you. It is us.

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